Being as polite as I am (I am rolling my eyes), I hold my tongue more often then not. However, here are the things the mice in my head were spinning their wheels on which I wish I would have said this week:
To the girl raising her hand in class- Saying “I have a question,” after being called upon by the professor in response to his question “are there any questions”, is not necessary. It was very clear by the fact that your hand was raised that you had a question of some sort. Captain Obvious, ladies and gentlemen.
To the girl who lacked sufficient funds at the vending machine- Hey, I’ve been there too. Starving at 8:00 p.m. in the evening and all you have is a crumpled dollar bill that the tease of a vending machine keeps rejecting. I was happy to buy you that Snicker’s bar that you felt would satiate you for the next hour and ten minutes. But the LEAST you could do was say thank you. Instead you just snatched it out of the machine and booked it out of there. Next time I will buy my stack and enjoy it in front of you while you struggle to cram your crumpled ass bill into the machine. Jerk!
To the asshole who threw eggs at my car in the middle of the night- I know you are a punk high schooler because all of these shenanigans tend to occur towards the end of the summer when you are getting restless and have run out of ideas and your parent’s money to occupy your time. Security cameras are a bitch… I will find you! And if I don’t, karma will.
To the people who resist inevitable change- It’s. Going. To. Happen. Deal with it! Quit whining every time you find something that “doesn’t work like it use to,” or because “that’s not the way we use to do it.” NEWS FLASH: the way you use to do it has CHANGED. Accept it. Embrace it. Move on!
To the girl who was put in her place by the professor- Boom! Sit down! You tried to mouth off to another student on a topic you had elementary knowledge on and the professor made you look like a petty child who was arguing over who took the toy she wasn’t even playing with. Respect others!
To the guy who was trying to hide study aids in the library- Not cool. Not cool. We are all just trying to get through this. Don’t be that guy who is making it even more difficult. Because you lack confidence in yourself, don’t sabotage other’s efforts to actually study and prepare for finals. If you want to slack off don’t bring us down with you. P.S. I gave the hidden treasure back to the circulation desk. Win!
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