Category Archives: Mommyhood

Oh, Hey There!

Sorry

I lied! It’s clear from my last post (approximately 9 months ago) that I was a little too ambitious. I had a very good intention to be more consistent with this blog because I enjoy it. But I didn’t. Because . . .  life. Enough said.

Since my last post I have been promoted, been caring for an ever-sick child, forged into the world of child athletics, and watching my husband grow his business. Needless to say, there has been little time for anything else.

But I hope you stay tuned. If you’re a new reader, I hope you come back. Here’s what is to come:

Things I Wonder at 3:38 a.m.

The Juggle is Real

The Role of a Mommy-Attorney

Being on the Other Side of the Table

-Job Satisfaction

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THIS Was Worth the Wait!

Trees

Memorial Day weekend was a long weekend for me. I had 4 days off of work and decided to tack on an additional day for good measure. We headed out to Mr. Mister’s family cabin for some R & R. Boy did we need it! It was perfect to say the least.

We slept it. Went on hikes. Saw some wild animals. Played at the park. Ate way too much pasta and drank far too much wine. Little Bit was our weekend entertainment and she did not disappoint.

Our final evening, while laying in bed and recapping all that had occurred the past few days, Mr. Mister said “now THIS is what we were waiting for!” I asked him to explain and this was his response…

 “Your first semester of law school we kept saying we couldn’t wait until the semester was over so we could take a vacation. After your first year we couldn’t wait until we had Little Bit so all of the chaos, stress, and medical issues were all behind us. After we had her we couldn’t wait until you finished law school. When the end was nearing we were looking forward to you not working and only bar prepping. Once that began all we wanted was for it to end so we could see you immediately after work and you wouldn’t have any homework or have to hide yourself in the office to study.”

“But now that we are here, and I see my parents playing with Little Bit and how happy she is and how relaxed we all are, I didn’t realize it, but THIS is really what we have been waiting for! Just some down time with our family!

I couldn’t agree more! It was nice to step away from the fast city life and just enjoy.

While in school it felt like the end was never in sight. While doing bar prep it felt like the big day would never arrive. Now, here I am looking back on it all and, to be honest, it wasn’t so bad.

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And There It Was…

… my name!

Thursday while at work I was a big ball of stress. The impending release of the bar pass names was obviously weighing on me. Getting no work done, my boss suggested I take a half day and enjoy some time with my family and relax on Friday while I waited for the bar results to be posted.

I went home, napped, made dinner, played with Little Bit and tried (unsuccessfully) to keep the thought of the results being posted out of my head. Friday was not much better. I did menial things around the house and played and napped some more. From 3:00-4:00 the hour just stalled. It was as if time stood still. LONGEST. HOUR. OF. MY. LIFE.

But then there we were. Refreshing the page where the results were to be posted. Little Bit sitting on the couch in the office with Alex and Aldo trying to weasel their way up to the couch as well. Mr. Mister was in control of the mouse-clicking, refreshing  every second and I stood behind him, knees shaking, biting my nails, waiting for the link to appear. Mr. Mister was refreshing the screen so quickly he missed it but I saw the blue hyperlink appear. I screamed “there is it! Stop! Stop! Stop! Click here.” And I pointed out to him what he had overlooked.

The attachment opened and my heart quickened. My knees started to get a little weak and suddenly the sound of Little Bit’s animal noise toys was muted from my ears and all I heard was my own pounding heartbeat. And there it was, my name.

I passed the state bar exam! I was ecstatic! Elated! Happy! I jumped up and down and hugged my husband and cried knowing that the stress of law school was behind me and I only had the joy of starting a new career in front of me.

For those starting bar prep for the July bar, put in the study time. It doesn’t have to be excessive, but it should be quality. I hope you get the same excitement I did when you see your name on a pass list.

Pass

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A Day in the Life of a Mom Studying for a Bar Exam

In order to fully dedicate my time to studying for the bar, I took of leave of absence from my job. My friends as family are so use to me going non-stop and being super busy all of the time, the question I am now getting ask is “what do you do with all of your extra free time now?” Uh????????? What?! As a mom to a one-year old who is studying to take a bar exam I DO NOT have any extra free time. In order to show how I spend my free time, here is my current weekday daily schedule.

6:30 a.m.

Wake up, shower and get minimally ready for the day.

7:00 a.m.

Little Bit yells “mom” from the her room signaling me she is ready to rock n’ roll for the morning.

7:05 a.m.

 Diaper change and clothes change.

7:15 a.m.

Start the coffee and make Little Bit her breakfast. She is on a Ms. Independent streak right now so I have to make her food in bite size pieces she can handle on her own. The other morning half a waffle wound up in her mouth all at once and it was quite a battle trying to extract it from the death grip that a one year old’s jaw possesses.

7:30 a.m.

Eat my own breakfast and work some multiple choice questions on my Barbri app.

8:00 a.m.

Mr. Mister wakes up and joins us.

8:05 a.m.

I pack a lunch. One downfall of not working is the lack of a second income. All of my favorite downtown lunch places are off limits for the foreseeable future.

8:15 a.m.

I pack up the various books I will need for my lectures and assignments that day.

8:20 a.m.

I head out the door and off to school.

NOTE: I head to school for the day, in lieu of studying from home, because Little Bit is either being watched by Mr. Mister or our in-home caretaker so I feel like it would be too distracting there. On the other hand, I feel like I am wasting an hour of valuable study time on my commute each day to school. Next week I am going to try to study a few days from home and see how productive I can be and if it makes a difference.

8:50 a.m.

Arrive at school, find a corner study room, and set up shop.

9:00 a.m.

Start the video lecture, take notes, and draft a rough outline for the assigned daily topic.

11:00 a.m.

Take a quick walk around in front of the school to get some fresh air and rejuvenate myself.

11:10 a.m.

Eat lunch WHILE I finish the video lecture.

12:30 p.m.

Complete the video lecture and start organizing all of my notes into a more   comprehensive outline.

 1:30 p.m.

Essay time- I try to do one MEE essay a day. Our school offers “workshops” where you can write out an assigned essay and submit it to your bar coach for feedback. I take FULL ADVANTAGE of this opportunity. Not everyone does. The hour after the workshops they offer professor insight into the essays and points to score on the essay. I went to these all the first week but found that they were not very helpful since a full example answer was provided to us. I quit going and just do a thorough review of the answer myself and give myself an honest grade of how I feel I did. I then compare this to the grade my bar coach gives me to see if I have realistic views of my ability to write. So far, I am not too far off base.

2:30 p.m.

MBE time- Barbri normally gives us sets of multiple choice questions to work through, about 2 sets a day. I work through those and then very methodically go through each right and wrong answer for each question.If there are not any MBE’s assigned for the day, Barbri normally gives us topic diagnostics on Blackletter law. I do these just the same as I do the MBE sets.

 3:30 p.m.-4:00 p.m.

Finish up any last minute work and pack up to head home.

 4:30 p.m.

Walk through the door greeted by two barking dogs, a smiling baby, and a desperately exhausted looking husband. I spend some time with each of them.

 5:15 p.m.

Start dinner. While that is cooking I unload the dishwasher and start a load of laundry.

 6:00 p.m.

Eat dinner with the family. Listen to Little Bit tell me she wants “mo’, mo’ mo’” of whatever it is that she is eating. The girl can eat!

 6:30 p.m.

Husband cleans up while Little Bit and I play. I am attempting to teach her the alphabet song. My husband says a year old is a little young, but I am determined! It’s her favorite song. I have been singing it to her in English and Spanish since before she was even born. She’s gotta know at least a few letters by now.

7:00 p.m.

Little Bit’s bedtime routine starts: bath, PJs, a book (right now Moo, Ba, La, La, La is on heavy rotation along with Good Night Moon). We sing a few songs, say goodnight to all her stuffed animals, and she is down for the night.

 7:30 p.m.

Spend a little time with Mr. Mister. Maybe watch an episode of a mindless show.

 8:00 p.m.

Back to the grind. Depending on your knowledge of certain subjects and it’s subtopics, as shown through the results of the online MBE’s and diagnostic tests I discussed above, Barbri assigns you “homework” in addition to all of the regular study assignments they give you. I work on this “homework” every evening.

 11:30 p.m.

Start packing it up for the night. I clean up my desk and make sure I have everything cleaned up to be quickly thrown in my bag the following morning to start all over again.

 11:45 p.m.

Hit the sack. Finally!

 11:55 p.m.

Damn, I forgot to switch the laundry!

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Tuesday’s Tangent

TANGENT TUESDAY

Things that distract me while studying at school: 

The smell of old Chipotle in the study rooms.

People peeking into my study room every five minutes looking for an empty one.

When one tube light bulb is out.

Overflowing recycle bins.

The sound of women’s clicking high-heels down the hallway.

Half erased dry erase boards.

Noisy doors.

The missing stapler from the copy room.

I think I may try to start studying from home. Although Little Bit may be a bigger distraction than all of these combined!

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(Kinda) Unemployed

Lazy

Yesterday was the beginning of my first day without working since I was 16 years old! Of course I took off three months for maternity leave, but that was in the normal course of business. Now, I am taking off two and a half months to study full time for the bar. This week is my buffer week. I had one final yesterday and bar prep starts next Monday. So… here I am on a Tuesday morning, with nothing to do, bored already. I must say that yesterday was pretty fabulous. Mr. Mister woke up with Little Bit, fed her breakfast, cleaned all the dishes, and prepped Little Bit’s lunch for the babysitter while I slept in until 8:45 for the first time in over a year. IT. WAS. GLORIOUS. But of course, I can’t make that a habit.

I was already given a time table of pre-bar prep stuff that I need to get done before next Monday. Yesterday’s and today’s lists are completed and I am contemplating starting on tomorrow’s list. But I really want to call into work and see how everything is going. I also want to take a nap while Little Bit is napping. However, I should probably get out of my pi’s and do something productive. Ah, the struggle is real right now. I guess I better enjoy these lazy days before my life gets crazy-hectic again.

Maybe I should catch up on my ‘sodes of How To Get Away With Murder! Does anyone else think this is the most cheesy, yet fabulous, show?

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Tuesday’s Tangent

TANGENT TUESDAY

During this last semester of law school I have learned that I am a productive procrastinator. I’ll have bunch of chapters throughout a stack of books to read before the weekend ends and I will come up with a list a mile long of things that ABSOLUTELY need to get done before I start in on that homework.

This weekend that list included:

  •             Sorting through the lone sock pile to find the matches.
  •             Ridding Little Bit’s closet of clothes that no longer fit her.
  •             That resulted in me funneling more clothes into her closet that she can grow into.
  •             Reminiscing about the time when Little Bit was able to fit in those smaller clothes.
  •             Cleaning every single piece of bedding in my home.
  •             Wiping down all of the kitchen cabinets.
  •             Wiping down all of Little Bit’s toys.
  •             Doing 6 loads of laundry . . . which resulted in me having to hang and fold 6 loads of laundry.

On a happy note, my house is always fresh and clean come Monday morning. Ready for the neglect it will suffer the rest of the week.

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“Parents Are Preventing Hope of Any Future Anonymity”

No_Image

I stated in one of my Tuesday’s Tangents why I will never post a photo of Little Bit on any social media site. Amy Webb’s post on Slate nails it!

I couldn’t agree more! If you are a proud parent who likes to post those cute photos of your kids, please check your privacy settings.

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Tuesday’s Tangent

TANGENT TUESDAY

Frazzled:

fraz·zle

informal
verb
adjective: frazzled; past participle: frazzled; past tense: frazzled
  1. cause to feel completely exhausted; wear out.

    I never thought I would use this word to describe myself. I have always prided myself on being organized, timely, and efficient. None of those words describe me these days. MPRE, last day of law school, finals, bar prep and then the bar are all approaching at a pace I am not able to keep up with.

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The Battle to Breastfeed

Gloves

Let me start by saying that the choice to breastfeed your child is a decision that is personal to each mother and their individual circumstances. For me, I wanted to exclusively breastfeed Little Bit for the first year of her life (give or take). However, as with everything else, I had to really balance how important that was to me against all of the other responsibilities in my life that required my time and attention. After much research on the benefits of breastfeeding, conversations with other mothers, and some inquiry of my doctor, we decided that breastfeeding was the route for us. This journey is not without struggle.

First, I took it day by day… literally. Breastfeeding was such a struggle in the beginning that I told myself each day just to push through until the next day and see how you feel. Well, 10 months later, here we are. But along those tens months, there were some things that people had told me that continued to torment me.

 It Comes Naturally-FALSE!

When mothers talked about breastfeeding their child, I mostly heard of all the benefits it would provide to my child. Not once did I hear of the difficulty that came along with it. I had this fairy-tale idea that my child would immediately know what to do the first time I put her to my breast. NOT. THE. CASE. It takes work in the beginning.

In the hospital, it took a good three tries for Little Bit to latch. The nurses had to help me the first few times. But after a while, I felt like we had the hang of it and we were released from the hospital into the scariness of parenthood.

Our “great latch” fell apart the minute we tried to feed at home. I realize now it was the amount of stress and sleeplessness that I was experiencing that led to our slight detour on our breastfeeding journey. Luckily, the hospital had sent me home with a goodie bag that included a list of ten or so lactation consultants (it’s as if they knew!). You bet your aunt fanny I was on the phone so quick and it was the best $75 I had ever spent for an hours worth of work.

She explained that breastfeeding, although natural, is very difficult in the beginning. She watched me hold Little Bit to see how I positioned her. She looked at how Little Bit latched and even weighed her after the feeding to assure me that I was in fact producing enough milk for my child.

It still didn’t feel natural, but over time, it became easier to manage.

Pumping is Easy-FALSE!

Ugh! I can’t wait to jump kick my pumps out of my home and office. That’s right. You heard me. Pumps! PLURAL! I own two pumps.

In this craziness that I call my life, Mr. Mister and I decided that it would be advantageous to keep a pump at home for the late night/early morning/weekend pumps and one at the office for my workday pumps. With all of the crap I carry around for work and school, I didn’t want to be bogged down with another bag. I must say, it has been a great stress reliever to not have to truck an extra bag with a pump around. Every Monday, I just walk in with a bag of ten clean bottles, put them in my office cabinet my husband got for me, and I only worry about carrying out a discreet bottle bag at the end of each day. That’s the easy part. The hard part was figuring out how to use your pump to your body’s potential.

Pumps come in all different shapes, sizes, grades, colors, personalities (only slightly kidding). With all of the available brands, you have to determine which will be right for you. Do your research. There are so many blogs and resources on line that you can hear people raving about the pump they use or ranting about how another pump has failed them. But keep in mind, what works for one body, may not work for another.

Another thing to keep in mind is cost. Most insurance companies will cover the cost of a breast pump. Just call and ask and they can inform you of all the details. The bad part about this is you get what they got. You can’t choose the latest model or best quality. However, my own insurance company provided me with a top quality Ameda pump. A girlfriend of mine told me her insurance provided her with a Medela. So, I think insurance companies want to get it right the first time in order not to hinder your pumping and for you to be successful. One note here, the company that sent me mine had to replace it when the motor went out. It was no big deal. I call, they confirmed the model, my address, and had the new one sent out overnight. I am not sure how easy it would be to try to return or exchange a pump at a retail store.

After you have the right pump for you, you need to figure out a schedule that works for your daily responsibilities and the milk intake of your child. This is the hard part. I started by pumping every two hours to create my supply and to store some for when I returned to work. Eleven months later I am down to pumping twice a day. As Little Bit has gotten older she has dropped feedings and not taken as much milk. Another thing I noticed is that when I am stressed out or sleep deprived (which is usually every day) my milk supply is totally affected. At times like those, there is not much you can do when you are carrying such a busy schedule. You just press on and move past it. Never fear supplementing.

It’s Quicker than Making a Formula Bottle- FALSE!

In the middle of the night when you are ripped from your sleep at the sound of a crying baby you don’t really have all of your faculties yet. It’s super easy to lay the child in bed next to you and nurse as opposed to fumbling your way through the dark, with a crying child, to make a bottle, heat the bottle, stumble your way back to the chair and finally feed your child. A 30 minute bottle process can be a 15 minute nursing session that only requires you to relocate your child next to you.

Most Women Fail as a Milk Supplier-FALSE!

Studies have shown that providing breast milk to your child for a even just a few days can be beneficial to your child. The colostrum itself has so many health benefits and can protect your child from infection and illnesses you, as the mother, has been exposed to. For some women, that is all that they can provide for their child. This is not failing as a mother. It’s physiology. As much as I wanted to nurse my child through to her first year, I don’t think we will make it. At 10 months, I started supplementing with formula because my body could no longer keep up. I haven’t failed as a milk supplier, I have given my baby the best that I could and that my body would allow. We are both happy because of it.

Whatever route you decide to take with your child, definitely consider what your schedule will permit and how realistic your goals are. I set out with the goal of a week. Then a month. Then three months. Every time I would reach a goal, I would feel so much more motivated to set another goal. Set yourself up for success and gauge your success by your own standards when it comes to breastfeeding.

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