The Juggle is Real

Approximately 9 months ago I was hired as an attorney in the government sector. They threw me in head first and the initial weeks were a struggle. But luckily, some semblance of normalcy crept back into my life.

Then, cut to two months ago, I was “promoted” to a different area of the office. I was enthusiastic for the change because it was in the particular specialization I wanted to be in, but… I was not looking forward to the extra work and hours that came with it. But now, with a little bit of juggling and a whole lot of help, I have managed to “manage” my work and home life in a way that makes me feels comfortable. I am comfortable in knowing that when I am at work I am doing my job to the best of my ability. I am also comfortable knowing that when I am at home, I am home. Period.

My days aren’t a struggle, but here is my daily juggle.

5:00 a.m. Wake Up

I don’t need an alarm clock anymore. Not because my body has accustomed itself to being an early riser. Nope. My dogs feel the need to jump on me and scratch the hell out of my arms until I wake up and let them out to pee and to bark at the birds that like to hang out on our fence. So, I am up.

6:00 a.m. Showered and Caffeinate 

I would like to say that I have spent my initial hour doing things that “every successful person does in the morning.” Nope. I have not surprisingly wasted it on social media, news, and bill pay.

6:45-ish a.m. Little Bit is Up and at ‘Em

She transitioned to a new room with a “big girl bed” shortly before her second birthday. To my surprise, we put her in there the first night and not once has she ever gotten out of her bed without someone being in there with her. Parenting Win!

But, it’s pretty weird too. I’ll look at the monitor and see her sitting at the edge of her bed, staring at the door, waiting. I go in and rescue her at this point.

Also, in between 6:30 and 6:45, I have managed to slap a little make-up on.

7:15 a.m. Baggin’ It All Up

Little Bit either sits with me while I finish my hair and make-up or Mr. Mister is up and making us all breakfast. It varies from day-to-day, but I am pretty much ready to go by 7:15 a.m.

I spend these last fifteen minutes getting my various bags together and making a lunch for me and/or Little Bit if I was too lazy to do it the night before. I try to do it ahead of time otherwise Little Bit wants to “help” and I lose a good fifteen minutes on my commute time.

Also, I carry four bags, which I transport from my house, to my car, to my office, back to my car, and back into my house. This takes some time to get them all situated and ready to go.

FullSizeRender

                  -Purse, file bag, gym bag, lunch bag

I am quite a sight in the morning.

7:30 a.m. Fight the Traffic

Mr. Mister has a slightly more flexible morning schedule than I do in the so he takes Little Bit to her school. I like this because she gets her time in the morning to enjoy her breakfast and to get showered. I hated feeling that I would rush her on the morning when I would take her to school because my schedule dictated when and where I needed to be.

I take the same road every day to work, but you never know what’s going to happen. Sometimes the thirty-minute commute turns into an hour if traffic is at it’s worst. Sometimes, it a straight shot and I have time to stop for a third cup of coffee (because the one I drank at home and the one I drank while driving to work sometimes just aren’t enough).

8:00-8:30 a.m. Let the Games Begin

Depending on any hearings I have, I need to be in court by 8:15 a.m. When I have no hearings (which is rare), I can get in by 8:30 a.m. But, as a professional, I prefer to be in my office by 8:00 a.m. absent any craziness.

I feel that this sets an example of me as a professional and I just hate being late as it truly sets the tone for the rest of my day.

10:30 a.m. Makin’ Calls

I am normally back in my office for the rest of the day by 10:30 a.m. and can start returning phone calls, responding to emails that needed more than a quick response, and scheduling meeting, interviews, and depositions.

I am not a big fan of being in the courtroom, so the “behind the scenes,” office-type work that I get to do is my favorite!

11:45 a.m. Movin’ and Groovin’

In my last position, I was walking all over the place. My steps would total close to 20,000 each weekday. In my new position, I am sitting a majority of the day. Since my office provides a very accessible gym in our building, I take advantage of it during my lunch hour.

Not only I am trying to lose the last 13 pounds of baby weight, but also I need to break up my day by getting out of my office. Seriously, sometimes I get so caught up in what I am doing I forget to eat. AND I LOVE TO EAT!

So, I take about 45 minutes to get in a quick but good workout, shower, and head back to the office.

1:00 p.m. Lunch!

No explanation needed other than this is at my desk while I am working.

Side note: I can’t find the exact article, but I once read that you should take your lunch outside of your office. Even if you pack it. Something about getting fresh air, impacting your brain, and making you live longer. Although I appreciated it at the time, I would rather work out then head outside during my lunch break.

My options are to work out during lunch or after Little Bit goes to sleep. When I would exercise in the evenings, I would lose that time with my husband. So, I am literally sacrificing my life for him!

1:00 – 4:45 p.m. Doin’ Work

For the rest of the day I am just handling my caseload and doing what I love. It’s easy and I am enjoying my new position.

4:45 p.m. Fight the Traffic – Part 2

Little Bits school is about 45 minutes from my office. I need to be there by 5:30 p.m. because I don’t want her to be the last kid there. So, I leave about 4:45 p.m. and make it just in time. The traffic is always the same because I take the freeway there. I love it. There are never any surprises. Even an accident on the freeway doesn’t hold up traffic in a significant way.

P.S. Little Bit loves her school and so do we! We are so glad we found it despite all the “Are you on the waitlist? No? Sorry, we’re full” that we received when trying to get her into a school. Hmmm… there’s something no one tells you about having a kid. Pre-preschool waitlists!

5:30 p.m. Dinner

By the time we get home, Mr. Mister is already there tying up any lose ends from his day. The day of the week determines who cooks dinner. Thursdays are Mr. Mister since I have to take Little Bit to gymnastics right afterwards. Friday is normally take-out. So, all the other days it’s me! Sometimes Little Bit helps or Mr. Mister grills. But I want to make sure Little Bit experiences dinnertime as a family and we eat as many home-prepared meals as we can. At least, that is my goal.

6:30-7:30 p.m. Game Time

Little Bit and I normally play some type of game while Mr. Mister cleans up the kitchen. I know a lot of you have this same rule: I cook, you clean.

These days, Little Bit loves to practice her gymnastics, color, dance, play with her doctor “tools,” or bake me a pretend dessert in her play kitchen. Mr. Mister normally joins us for some additional silliness. The dogs too. They have a safe spot, curled up on her bed, out of the way of any flying objects.

Two years old is an amazing time for her little brain. She learns so much, so quickly and I am amazed everyday.

The nighttime routine is PJs, brushed teeth, two books, and three songs. SHE COUNTS THE SONGS! She use to pick the same two books every night: Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See and The Very Hungry Caterpillar (two good ones). But lately, she picks two different books every night so even I am staying interested in the material.

Our last song always has to be the ABC’s, in English and Spanish. It’s just now dawning on me that she is sneaking a fourth song out of me every night!

7:45 p.m. The End is Near

Not one time from when I leave work to when I put her to bed have I checked my work phone or thought about work. My time with Little Bit is so precious that I hate to waste any of it. My job affords me the luxury of not having any emergencies that can’t wait a few hours or until the following morning. I may not become a millionaire at this job, but having the flexibility and work-life balance has so much more worth to me.

At this point, I take a quick look at my work phone. Handle anything that can be done with a quick response, and start a load of laundry. I try to do one load a night otherwise my weekend is shot.

Then, it’s time for my PJs, face wash, and either a book or a show. I knocked out three books last month and I am currently looking for new recommendations.

My husband prefers TV shows, but our interests don’t exactly align. So our night normally progresses with him on the couch watching a show, and me on the couch, head on his lap, with a book. Sometimes desserts are had. Mostly ridiculous comments are made about the writing or acting in a particularly bad show. Either way, the time together is fun and necessary.

9:00 p.m. Bed!

Seriously. If it were socially accepted to go to sleep at 7:30 when Little Bit does, I totally would! 9 o’clock feels so late for me.

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Things I Think About at 3:38 a.m.

I’ll save the extended version for another post, but Little Bit has been sick. For a long time. Like, a really long time. Like, since December 12, 2015! I freaking calendared it! She’s had this persistent cough that turns out to be “nothing” every time we see our doctor. So now, when we hear the cough start acting up, we brace ourselves for a crazy, needy kid due to her lack of sleep and whatever is ailing her.

So, the cough started again last night and I heard Little Bit hacking in her room. I woke up. Checked the clock. 3:38 a.m.?! So, I trudged the usual pathway from my room to hers and was greeted by a “hi mamma!” This Chatty Cathy thinks it’s time to wake up! Oh no, kid! We need to sleep. So I snuggled my way in next to her and asked her if she was ok. She replied she was, started rambling on about some nonsense, so I asked her to try to sleep. She laid there pretty quietly for a bit and this is when my mind just started running. Here were my thoughts as more clearly transcribed from the Notes in my iPhone.

-Why would they name them “washable” markers when they clearly aren’t?

Crayons

-Why do my dogs chew just my shoes? And just the left ones?

-Why does pasta end up being the messiest food known to a 2 year old?

-Does anyone hate me for signing up to bring a “junk food” to the potluck and showing up with a fruit tray? (NOTE: it was a magnificent fruit tray)

-What’s the difference between 24 month old clothes and 2T?

-Why can’t my husband do the dishes when he says he will instead of rinsing them and “saving them for tomorrow?”

-Do those forehead thermometers really work for kids? Is it possible my kid is not actually running a temperature and can go to school in the morning?

Therm

-Why does potty training give me more reason to drink wine?

Wine

-Why does work give me more reason to drink wine?

-Why aren’t there more reasons to drink wine?

Wines

My daughter decided to roll over and punch me in the face at this point so I was immediately jolted out of my own thoughts. Sometimes you need that good punch to the face to drag you right out of La-La-Land.

She never went back to sleep. So, spoiler alert, neither did I. My husband tagged me out around 5:00 a.m. just in time for a 30 minute nap.

When I got to work I got a picture from Mr. Mister of Little Bit, fast asleep on the living room floor.

 

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Oh, Hey There!

Sorry

I lied! It’s clear from my last post (approximately 9 months ago) that I was a little too ambitious. I had a very good intention to be more consistent with this blog because I enjoy it. But I didn’t. Because . . .  life. Enough said.

Since my last post I have been promoted, been caring for an ever-sick child, forged into the world of child athletics, and watching my husband grow his business. Needless to say, there has been little time for anything else.

But I hope you stay tuned. If you’re a new reader, I hope you come back. Here’s what is to come:

Things I Wonder at 3:38 a.m.

The Juggle is Real

The Role of a Mommy-Attorney

Being on the Other Side of the Table

-Job Satisfaction

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Tick Tock

Clock

Where do I begin?! I am sorry. I am sorry for the silence. I am sorry for not planning better. I am sorry for having poor time management. But, I am back.

Life as a working attorney is FAR different than life as a law student and life awaiting bar results. As soon as my admission to the state bar was complete, I started working as an attorney in my office the following week. It has been a whirlwind, to say the least.

I have a lot of post ideas saved up. Now, to find the time to write them.

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Resumes, Meetings, Interviews….Oh My!

Resume Pic

As soon as my state bar number hit my inbox I hit the ground running. Well, kind of.

I have had my eye set on three small to medium size firms that I wanted to apply to. Unfortunately, none of them are hiring. Fortunately, I received a call back from each of them wanting to have either an informal interview or a chat over coffee for introductions. They all went well and I was so pleased to get some face time with some of the partners and my face and resume is now in their minds in the event a position opens up!

My career counselor always told us to network, network, network! Although I chose to network within a small group of firms, I feel I benefited greatly not just from the face time, but from the advice each partner was able to give to me as far as my path in this new law career of mine. To see them let down their guard and just chat about their love of their jobs and their dislikes was invaluable. I may have left a little giddy from each meeting. Almost as if I had some unknown knowledge that others didn’t.

So, needless to say, this past month has been a crazy month. In addition to the three private firms, I also submitted an application to my own office for which I was hustled through an interview and the formal background process with a tentative start date of August 10th. I can’t complain. I knew upon graduation I would have a job, it was just a matter of where.

Hopefully now that I have settled down with all of the job hunting craziness I can get back to posting more regularly. I miss this.

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THIS Was Worth the Wait!

Trees

Memorial Day weekend was a long weekend for me. I had 4 days off of work and decided to tack on an additional day for good measure. We headed out to Mr. Mister’s family cabin for some R & R. Boy did we need it! It was perfect to say the least.

We slept it. Went on hikes. Saw some wild animals. Played at the park. Ate way too much pasta and drank far too much wine. Little Bit was our weekend entertainment and she did not disappoint.

Our final evening, while laying in bed and recapping all that had occurred the past few days, Mr. Mister said “now THIS is what we were waiting for!” I asked him to explain and this was his response…

 “Your first semester of law school we kept saying we couldn’t wait until the semester was over so we could take a vacation. After your first year we couldn’t wait until we had Little Bit so all of the chaos, stress, and medical issues were all behind us. After we had her we couldn’t wait until you finished law school. When the end was nearing we were looking forward to you not working and only bar prepping. Once that began all we wanted was for it to end so we could see you immediately after work and you wouldn’t have any homework or have to hide yourself in the office to study.”

“But now that we are here, and I see my parents playing with Little Bit and how happy she is and how relaxed we all are, I didn’t realize it, but THIS is really what we have been waiting for! Just some down time with our family!

I couldn’t agree more! It was nice to step away from the fast city life and just enjoy.

While in school it felt like the end was never in sight. While doing bar prep it felt like the big day would never arrive. Now, here I am looking back on it all and, to be honest, it wasn’t so bad.

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Do What Works for You

Bar Pass

This is a post I have been wanting to write since I took the bar exam. However, the information contained in it would either be right or wrong depending on whether or not I passed. Since I did pass my state’s bar exam I feel like I can finally write this.

Going into bar prep a considerable amount of time Googling things like “how do I pass the bar exam?” and “tips and tricks to pass the bar.” I looked through various websites, talked to past bar sitters, and read numerous threads of chitchat to see which way was the best way to study for the bar. The answer is quite simple, it all depends on the person.

For any student studying for the bar exam my school offered us a “bar pass pod” which was basically a floor of empty offices to use as needed for studying. Every day when I walked in there I saw so many variations of people’s study habits. From the bar results and discussions I have had with fellow bar sitters I can give some insight into what may and may not work during your bar study.

WHAT WORKS (suggestions from three recent bar passers)

√ PACE YOURSELF

            The analogy is true- it’s a marathon, not a sprint. You will not be able to learn everything you need to know the last two weeks before the bar. Allow yourself enough time to review the information, process the information, and absorb the information. This occurs in various steps over quite a few weeks. So don’t try to cram all of your studying into the first couple weeks or the last couple weeks of bar prep. Spread it out over your allotted time and pace yourself in your studying.

√ FOLLOW THE PROGRAM

            Whether you sign up for a commercial bar prep program like BarBri or Kaplan or you structure your own study program, follow the program. I personally took BarBri and it felt like there were not enough hours in the day to get done what they threw at me. But I just trusted the process. There was a daily task list and a weekly task list. I did what I could in a day and what was left, I made sure to add it to my “weekly to do list.” Sundays were my lightest study days so whatever I couldn’t tackle during the week ended up on Sunday’s list. If Sunday evening came around and there were a few items left, I marked them for later review and told myself I would go back to them on a future date. There were some that I was able to complete and others that I was not. However, I did read and review the answers to the assignments I was not able to fully complete. Missing those couple of assignments did not turn out to be detrimental.

√ TRUST WHAT YOU KNOW

            If you rocked out in Torts during law school don’t spend too much of your study time focused on that area. Although we were told you don’t need your law school outlines to study from for the bar, my old outlines actually helped to refresh my memory on some topics. I spent minimal time on the topics I knew well (Constitutional Law, Civil Procedure, and Property) and focused more on the ones that were new to me (Commercial Paper and Trusts). I knew that I had a good outline in my memory of the topics I had already been tested on. I trusted that I knew what I needed to know from my previous exposure to the topic, the bar prep videos, and the various questions I was exposed to and moved on.

√ TAKE BREAKS

            Three of us took breaks religiously throughout the day. The one thing we all agreed on is to get away! Step away from your books and just stretch, get some fresh air, grab some ice water or a hot coffee and just leave your studying alone for 15 minutes. You will come back refreshed and more focused and able to absorb the information being thrown at you at 100 miles per hour. And when you feel your mid-afternoon exhaustion attacking, do it again! However, there comes a point where you need to know when enough is enough. See “lack of sleep” below.

√ USING SOMEONE ELSE’S OUTLINES*

            There is a split of opinion on this so it appears in both sections of What Works and What Does Not Work.

            I, personally, created my own outlines. I did this in three stages: a large comprehensive outline, condensed to a more minimal outline, and a final attack sheet with “need to knows” on it. Plus, for every attack sheet I had a medium sized post-it note with “things to remember.” These were things I saw repeated on the BarBri answers that seemed to gain more points.

            A friend of mine used only commercial outlines. Westlaw provided some and then he also purchased Lean Sheets. This worked for him. However, he did not create outlines during law school either, that is just not how he learned. However, he did say that he read the large BarBri outline book from front to back whereas I only used that large book to fill in gaps in my knowledge.

            Another friend of mine did a combination of both. She made her own outline and then used Lean Sheets in the final two weeks to study from. Because the Lean Sheets were pretty lean (he, he, he) in some topics, she found herself adding some notes here and there.

            So, whatever works best for you should be the route you take. But remember this is a learning process and I feel that part of the process is putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) to help your memory retain some of the information.

 

WHAT DOES NOT WORK (by two recent bar sitters who failed to achieve passing scores)

√ LACK OF SLEEP

            Both admitted to burning the midnight oil. One was there every morning, Monday through Sunday, at 5 a.m.! This same person left every night at midnight. He admits that he was exhausted which probably led to poor study habits. Although he felt he was putting in the work, looking back he admits that he had caught himself going back and re-reading the same section a few times because his mind was so exhausted it was not keeping up with him.

He said he totally agrees with taking breaks, but know when to call it a night and go home to relax with some mindless TV and a good night sleep.

√ BAD EATING HABITS

            WE ALL DID THIS! It’s easy enough to get up from your desk, walk a few steps, and pick up some sugary snack provided to us on the snack table in our bar pass pod. Although there was fruit and granola, sometimes the Pop-Tart or bag of Skittles was just way easier.

In the first month of bar prep I studied at home. I got to take a lunch break and eat something from my own fridge and then take a long dinner break and cook my family dinner. I realized during that time period I was much more energetic and productive.

However, during the second half of my bar prep when I studied at school and hit the snack table hard, I noticed I was exhausted more easily and not nearly as productive.

Try to keep healthy and brain-boosting snacks on hand so you are tempted to visit the vending machine too often.

√ UNPROVEN STUDY HABITS

            Now is not the time to “try something new.” Use the tried and true study habits that worked for you in law school.

One woman stated she never outlined during law school and she did fine. However, during bar prep everyone she saw said that she should do outlines. So, in her quest to pass the bar she attempted to make outlines. She said this was to her detriment. She spent more time trying to figure out what a good outline was and how she was even supposed to study from one. She thinks the additional time and effort she put into creating outlines deterred her away from her actual studying which she feels contributed to her not passing.

√ USING SOMEONE ELSE’S OUTLINES*

            As mentioned above, this could go either way! A recent non-passer said they purchased the Lean Sheets and relied on these as a study aid. They did not create their own outlines and feels as though he should not have relied so heavily on these alone. If you choose to use a commercial outline, you will need to supplement it. These come to you bare boned. You need to fluff if up with things that are missing or things your don’t know already that the commercial outlines may assume you already know.

I could ramble on and on about stories from the front line of bar prep. However, I will leave you with these few tips above and let you get back to your studying.

Good luck, future bar passer!

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Tuesday’s Tangent

TANGENT TUESDAY

“Probably not.” This is my response to the persistent question I have been asked now a trillion times. “Can I get free legal advice from you now?”

First, I am not being rude. I simply just can’t give every person I know free “legal advice.” Building a book of business should be treated just as such, a business. While there are the occasional free consultations to get the ball rolling on a new business relationship I can’t just sit down with every acquaintance who asks. Plus, any firm I work for will probably want my acquiantance as a client not just a free consultation.

Second, I just don’t know the answer. Apparently the outside world believes law students leave law school knowing everything there is to know about every area of law. Sorry folks, that’s just not the case. We leave knowing how to read a case, synthesize information, and think critically. We do not know about every area that concerns the law. If we did, don’t you think we’d need a little more schooling?

Lastly, although I can give any person the low down on most issues of criminal prosecution in my own state, I won’t. As every law student knows the answer is “it depends” because each fact situation is different. So when an acquaintance comes calling for a recent arrest on an alleged crime I will point them to the directory of lawyers who will be willing to take their case…for a fee.

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And There It Was…

… my name!

Thursday while at work I was a big ball of stress. The impending release of the bar pass names was obviously weighing on me. Getting no work done, my boss suggested I take a half day and enjoy some time with my family and relax on Friday while I waited for the bar results to be posted.

I went home, napped, made dinner, played with Little Bit and tried (unsuccessfully) to keep the thought of the results being posted out of my head. Friday was not much better. I did menial things around the house and played and napped some more. From 3:00-4:00 the hour just stalled. It was as if time stood still. LONGEST. HOUR. OF. MY. LIFE.

But then there we were. Refreshing the page where the results were to be posted. Little Bit sitting on the couch in the office with Alex and Aldo trying to weasel their way up to the couch as well. Mr. Mister was in control of the mouse-clicking, refreshing  every second and I stood behind him, knees shaking, biting my nails, waiting for the link to appear. Mr. Mister was refreshing the screen so quickly he missed it but I saw the blue hyperlink appear. I screamed “there is it! Stop! Stop! Stop! Click here.” And I pointed out to him what he had overlooked.

The attachment opened and my heart quickened. My knees started to get a little weak and suddenly the sound of Little Bit’s animal noise toys was muted from my ears and all I heard was my own pounding heartbeat. And there it was, my name.

I passed the state bar exam! I was ecstatic! Elated! Happy! I jumped up and down and hugged my husband and cried knowing that the stress of law school was behind me and I only had the joy of starting a new career in front of me.

For those starting bar prep for the July bar, put in the study time. It doesn’t have to be excessive, but it should be quality. I hope you get the same excitement I did when you see your name on a pass list.

Pass

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Tuesday’s Tangent

TANGENT TUESDAY

I love accomplishments. I love having that satisfying feeling that I have achieved something. I love having that sense of fulfillment when I complete something. But I am not a bragger. When I achieved good grades (although some may say they were GREAT grades) I didn’t go running my mouth about them. I told my husband and left it at that. I even got a little embarrassed a few times when he passed along the information about my good grades to his parents.

So why in the hell does it bother me when other people brag about what they have accomplished?! Especially on social media?! I know some feel that it’s not “real” until you post it on Facebook. But I just can’t get beyond the fact that it bothers me so much. Of course I am proud of each of my friends who achieve good grades, win a case as a Rule 38 student, just got a call back for a possible job. I would love to hear all about it. I think what annoys me most is 1) the posting on Facebook of that accomplishment and 2) that fact that I didn’t need validation from anyone else so why would they?

I am sure it’s just me and my own inner-struggle with something? Maybe self-doubt? Maybe envy? Maybe jealousy? Maybe the thought that people don’t think I am intelligent since none of my academic achievements are posted on Facebook? I am not sure. Maybe it’s a sign that I need to delete my Facebook and not be so put off about others need to brag.

This post brought to you by the increasing number of graduation photos filling up my Facebook News Feed.

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