Tag Archives: lawyer

Exhausted

January 17, 2017 . . .  that is the date of my last blog post. I thought about being super dramatic and waiting until January 17, 2018 to write my next blog post and come back in with a huge bang. But I needed an outlet. So, here I am.
What happened to me? Life! But this is not a “where have I been post” or a “let me catch you up post.” Nope! This is a good old-fashion post about my day because this momma is T. I. R. E. D.! I was doing it all by myself and I just need someone to know that I did it and why I am so exhausted.

Mr. Mister is super amazing. He has never steered me wrong (“never” is being used loosely). He normally takes the reigns on Little Bit’s morning routine, school drop off, and school pick up. This is a HUGE help for me because of the new job (oh yeah, I took the leap into private practice; more on that to come). But, Mr. Mister has a business to run and health issues to tend to so every now and then his “tasks” fall to me. I am happy to do them because I appreciate all of the time I can spend with Little Bit. But man, there are some days where something’s gotta give and nothing does. For example, tonight.

Normally, Mr. Mister picks Little Bit up from school, gives her a snack, entertains her for an hour or so until I get home and get dinner made and on the table. Normally. Tonight, my normal was chaos and I am not sure whether to drink the bottle of wine that has been staring at me for the past week, cry my eyes out from exhaustion, or just suck it up and go to bed. I chose super-secret option D: write a blog post while drinking a glass of wine, crying because exhaustion has set it.

Mr. Mister had an early morning doctor’s appointment, a late-ish customer meeting, and I had a late client call. I was happy to help out with his normal routine. So, my morning started out rushed to get Little Bit ready for school, fed, lunch made (because I failed to make it last night), and out the door by 7:20 a.m. We made it out at 7:45.

I ate a bowl of oatmeal at work from the firm kitchen and added some of my day old apple to spice things up. I realized I forgot to throw together my lunch and end up having another bowl of oatmeal for lunch, sans apple. I finished my day, not billing nearly enough hours, and made the client call from my cell phone in case it ran over the time I needed to make it to Little Bit’s school for pick up. The call ran late and I talked hands-free as I battled traffic. I made it there with 6 minutes to spare and felt extremely guilty when I realized Little Bit was one of only a handful of kids left at school. Mr. Mister would never let that happen!

I got one of the most excited hugs from my sweet baby girl because it’s not everyday her momma comes to pick her up. Together we quickly searched around for her shoes only to be told that she had an accident on the playground and I had not provided a back up pair of shoes (oh! reminder to self – pack back up shoes and bottoms for tomorrow). So . . . I scooped her up and carried her out to the car, carrying a bag of soiled clothes in my other hand.

As Little Bit started to tell me about her day I realized we have NO groceries in the house and thus nothing for dinner. I think about taking the easy way out and grabbing some take away, but think better of that choice because then Mr. Mister won’t have anything to eat for dinner when he gets home, we won’t have any breakfast, and I will find myself in the same predicament tomorrow. I steered my car towards the grocery store.

As I got into the backseat to unbuckle Little Bit I was hit with the reminder that she is shoeless when I see her little toes tapping on my middle console. I panicked and wondered if I still had the bag of donation clothes in my trunk. I don’t. But I did have her dance bag with her tap shoes and ballet shoes. Against her request, I chose the ballet shoes for her to shop in.

We grabbed what we need, along with some samples, and we were out of the store in 30 minutes. We got home where I was greeted by the smell of pup poo. I want to be angry but it is not their fault they have been left home all day, even longer than they normally are. Little Bit ran to change into her “relaxing clothes” while I cleaned up the dog mess. I washed my hands and then got down to the tasks at hand.

I make a chicken quesadilla while simultaneously unloading and putting away the groceries and managing to get our pups fed as well. During all of this, Little Bit grabbed her cup of coconut water from the fridge, took off the lid, and sat at our kitchen island to drink it. When I unpacked her package of yougurts, she got a little over-excited, jumped up to reach for one, and knocked her cup on the floor. I watched it fall, saw the contents hit the floor and splash back up onto the kitchen cabinets, under the stools, and under the countertop overhang; all in slow motion. As Little Bit ate her wonderful smelling quesadilla with rice, I scrubbed the floor, cabinets, and stools. I then put in a load of laundry to get all of those dirty towels cleaned.

Because Little Bit had an accident at school, that meant she needed a bath. So into the tub we went for a quick scrub down. I got her out, dried off, lotioned up, teeth brushed, hair braided and into bed. If you read my post about our nighttime routine, it is still the same. And it still works like a charm.

So, by 8:30 p.m. she is asleep. I FINALLY change out of my work clothes and notice the knees on my slacks are stained from scrubbing the floor. I make sure to stain treat them and set them aside for the cleaners tomorrow. I switched the laundry while I am in the laundry room.

I FINALLY ate dinner. I was so hungry that I ate the remaining chicken with a cold tortilla and handfuls of shredded cheese. Because at this point, ain’t no one got time to make a quesadilla. I clean up the mess from dinner, clean the days’ dishes, make Little Bit’s lunch for tomorrow, make my own lunch for tomorrow, and then check work emails. Of course a document revision needs to be sent out tonight. OF COURSE IT DOES!

I ran out to my car to grab my work bag and see Little Bit’s soiled clothes bag. I threw those clothes in the washer and ended up grabbing her dirty laundry from her room and bathroom to make a full load. While it runs, I start the revisions. I’m interrupted by a text from Mr. Mister, checking in on me and letting me know he is on his way home.

I switch Little Bit’s laundry and end up folding the nice and warm towels that I cleaned earlier. I continue through the revisions. Mr. Mister got home and decided to make himself a cold dinner since I ate all of the chicken and I am busy.

I finished the revisions and got the document sent out almost simultaneously with the ding of the dryer telling me Little Bit’s clothes are dry. I fold those too. Mr. Mister has since gone to bed. I locked down the house and sat on the couch. 18 hours. I have been going non-stop for 18 hours.

I realize that I have every right to feel exhausted. But I just wanted someone to know that it is for good reason. That I killed it at momming today. That this tear-filled glass of wine is damn-well deserved. Cheers!

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Tuesday’s Tangent

TANGENT TUESDAY

I became a lawyer because I hate math.

TAXES . . . I loathe you!

The end.

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Tuesday’s Tangent (a day late)

TANGENT TUESDAY

Cover letters . . . where do I begin?! I have a love-hate relationship with these.

I saw a quick video on Business Insider that quoted a statistic that about 50% of employers actually read the cover letter. But, because you don’t know what half of those employers you are applying with, it is better to be safe then sorry. So, basically, always provide a cover letter with your resume and application unless it is specifically stated NOT to provide one.

Being on a hiring panel, I read a large amount of cover letters. The problem is I read a large amount in quick succession. So, when one “stands out” to me it is only because it stands apart from the other 19 I am reading within that same 2 to 3 hour period. And I guess that is the point, right? To stand apart from the rest?

But here is my predicament: I am applying for a job that doesn’t actually exist yet, that isn’t being advertised, and that I was asked to apply for by a partner of the firm. I was explicitly asked to provide a cover letter to supplement the resume they had previously requested. So . . . how do I make myself stand out against the competition when there is no competition?

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like this is a HUGE test and I am just not sure how to complete it.

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Job Satisfaction

unsatisfied

It’s hard to admit, but I am very unhappy at my job. While I love being an attorney and I absolutely love a lot of aspects of my job, I don’t like a main component of my job.

I am doing a great job and have received excellent feedback from my boss with praise and an increase in complex work. I am consistently asked for my input and feedback on changes going on in the office. I am still part of the new attorney hiring committee. But at the end of the day . . . I am unhappy.

I have weighed the pros and cons of what I am required to do on a daily basis and I have decided this is not the field of law I want to practice in. The problem arises, however, it is a field I have worked in for the past 12 years! I have literally no experience in the field I want to be in and it is hard to “jump ship” when you don’t have anywhere to land. That is what is holding me to my current job . . . security.

How do you balance the things you love against the things you hate in your job? I don’t know. But this is the year I find out which way the scale tips.

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Happy New Year!

2017

2017 has arrived! I have many “want-to-do’s” on my list accompanied with “how-am-I-gonna-get-that-done’s” following close behind.

Here is to a productive and happier year!

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Happy Birthday!

This blog is 2 years old and I have not done a damn thing with it!

So . . .  Happy Birthday, Mom’s Law Blog.  Here’s to another year of trying to figure it all out.

 

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Being on the Other Side of the Table

Reputation

Does anyone else Google “how to answer interview questions?” Or “how to make a good first impression in an interview?” I have. Even when I am not interviewing for a job. I do this because I have often times been on the other side of the table . . .  the interviewer. I want to know which candidates are giving canned responses and what the internet is telling people will “land you the job of your dreams.”

In my past position, I interviewed numerous candidates to fill the vacancies for staff that held support functions in our office. Now, as an attorney, I have been asked to continue my role as a panel interviewer for incoming attorneys. I was blown away when they asked me to stay on in that role and I have enjoyed every minute of it.

Recently, I had the pleasure of sitting on an interview panel at my law school. During the part of the interview when the interviewer asks “so, do you have any questions for me?,” the last candidate of the day turned to me and asked:

I heard you are an alum of this law school. Can you tell me the one thing that you learned in law school that makes you successful in your job?

Without even thinking about it, I responded “protect your reputation, because you never know who will be sitting on the other side of the table.”

It’s more true than I think some new attorneys will ever have the ability to understand. I started to appreciate that fact more when I started interviewing other attorneys that I either knew of or heard of during law school.

I explained to the candidate that your reputation in the legal community starts in law school because you are sitting next to your future colleagues. People who you will work with for the rest of your career. How they know you in law school will be how they perceive you for the rest of the time you interact with them during your legal career.

I can think of two attorneys that I currently work  with as opposing counsel. I know how they played fast and loose in law school and I know they are probably flying by the seat of their pants in the cases we have together.  I can think of another currently unemployed attorney who reached out to me for a referral for a position in my office. I was very direct and explained to them that I did not know anything about their work ethic as they were rarely in class and failed to show up to our final group presentation. And for those reasons, I was not comfortable in making the referral. They probably cussed me out, deleted my email, and moved on to find the next person they could suck a referral out of. All I know is that I will never refer someone for a job in my office that I cannot personally see myself working alongside of.

So, to all of you thinking about going to law school, starting your 1L year, or even entering your 2L year, protect your reputation because you never know who will be across from you at that table when it comes time to interview for that job you really want.

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The Role of a Mommy Attorney

Mommy

I am no expert. My opinions are my own from my own experiences and a lot of deep thinking over a glass (or two) of Malbec. 

In the later part of Little Bit’s first year of life we had an in-home caretaker help us out a few days a week. She helped another family the other days of the week. The mother of those children was an attorney.

Unfortunately,  I did not have a lot of interaction with our caretaker. My husband worked from home so a lot of the conversations had regarding the mommy-attorney of the other children occurred between Mr. Mister and our caretaker. But they have always stuck with me.

The two things that stuck out were: “she always chose work over her children” and “even when she is home, she has no time for her children.” I want to be clear that she was in no way bad-mouthing this other mother. And, we didn’t even know this other family and probably never would. But the instances that our caretaker used as examples were enough to make me consider the role of a mommy attorney.

Now, I understand that the solo-moms, the ones doing it all on their own, are in a whole different category than what I am talking about now. What I have experienced is the role of a mommy attorney who is doing it with the help of a partner.

BE A PRESENT ATTORNEY! 

When I am at work, I am in full on work mode. Stand back! I am laser-focused on the tasks I have ahead of me and I know I need to be able to complete everything I have to do in the hours I am in the office. I am an attorney as soon as I walk into that office.

I limit my personal phone calls – but who is really going to call me anyway? I am rarely on my cell phone – I am pretty burned out on social media. And my lunches are usually at my desk or last no more than 45 minutes when I run out to eat.

Here’s the thing: I don’t want to bring work home with me. Period. I am away from my family for hours during the day, I don’t want to be forced to bring work home with me because I was bad at managing my time while at work. So I am present when I am at work.

BE A PRESENT MOMMY! 

Then, I am present when I am home. The minute I walk in my front door I am greeted by two barking dogs and a child that CANNOT WAIT to give me a kiss and a hug. She is my priority the minute I walk in the door. I hug and kiss her and ask her about her day at school. I am a mommy as soon as I walk in that front door.

Although I may have a million things that I could be thinking about for work, I try to remain focused on my family. Little Bit and I will cook dinner together while Mr. Mister gets some things done around the house. Then, we practice letter recognition or play musical instruments or play with whatever toy is keeping her attention that day.

Then, before I know it, it is bed time. While I know I can rush through “the routine” to get a few additional minutes of me time,  I don’t. I will always heed the advice to enjoy my child while she is young because they grow up so fast. IT’S. SO. TRUE!

So, instead, I read her the books she chooses, even if they are 15 pages long. And I do the voices. And I let her interrupt me to ask questions. And I even let her  try to count the number of shiny scales on the Rainbow Fish (she says there’s 20). Then we sing songs. And I let her sing along with me and make up her own words and slightly delay the inevitable, because I am a mommy and I am present in that moment.

BE A PARTNER!

Before me and Mr. Mister had Little Bit, he had a discussion with me that will forever stick with me. He said we always have to put each other before our child. This made so much sense once he explained it to me.

He explained how if we fell apart, we were no good to a kid. We had to make sure we appreciated each other, stood by the others decisions, and to never let our kid divide us or pit us against one another.

This has worked for us. It has taken some practice during the times of extreme stress, but we feel our child is such a great kid because we show her how to love and appreciate things and people through our example.

We make sure that we stay connected. We talk every night before bed about the things weighing on our minds. We also talk about the funny stuff . . . more often than not we are laughing hysterically because we are each just weird enough for the other to find the comedy in it all.We have date nights once a month, if not more. Day dates are my favorite, but Mr. Mister prefers evenings out.

In addition to being a mommy and attorney, I also have the honor of being someone’s wife.  A role I take as seriously as all the others.

BE YOURSELF!

On top of everything else I am making time for in my day, I can’t forget about myself. THIS IS HUGE! Also, I’ll admit, the hardest role in my life.

I am still me. Regardless of the hat that I am wearing on any given day at any particular time, I am still me. I have emotions like everyone else. I have fears like everyone else. And I have the limits just like everyone else.

In order to keep my life functioning, I need to make sure I am functioning. So, I work out 3-4 times a week. Also, I will take a hot bath when time permits or wake up early to take an extra long shower. I have been reading books like crazy lately (hence the lack of posts). I will take a morning to run the errands I need to handle for myself. Or, there have even been times where I ask Mr. Mister to allow me to take a quick 20 minute breather when I feel I have reached my limit.

If you allow all of the roles you juggle to overwhelm you, you will eventually burn out. Luckily, I realized this sooner rather than later.

I never want to be that person that had to choose one role over another. Right now, my job and family situation allow me to handle all of these roles: mom, wife, woman, attorney. And I feel I am fulfilling these roles up to my standards.

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The Juggle is Real

Approximately 9 months ago I was hired as an attorney in the government sector. They threw me in head first and the initial weeks were a struggle. But luckily, some semblance of normalcy crept back into my life.

Then, cut to two months ago, I was “promoted” to a different area of the office. I was enthusiastic for the change because it was in the particular specialization I wanted to be in, but… I was not looking forward to the extra work and hours that came with it. But now, with a little bit of juggling and a whole lot of help, I have managed to “manage” my work and home life in a way that makes me feels comfortable. I am comfortable in knowing that when I am at work I am doing my job to the best of my ability. I am also comfortable knowing that when I am at home, I am home. Period.

My days aren’t a struggle, but here is my daily juggle.

5:00 a.m. Wake Up

I don’t need an alarm clock anymore. Not because my body has accustomed itself to being an early riser. Nope. My dogs feel the need to jump on me and scratch the hell out of my arms until I wake up and let them out to pee and to bark at the birds that like to hang out on our fence. So, I am up.

6:00 a.m. Showered and Caffeinate 

I would like to say that I have spent my initial hour doing things that “every successful person does in the morning.” Nope. I have not surprisingly wasted it on social media, news, and bill pay.

6:45-ish a.m. Little Bit is Up and at ‘Em

She transitioned to a new room with a “big girl bed” shortly before her second birthday. To my surprise, we put her in there the first night and not once has she ever gotten out of her bed without someone being in there with her. Parenting Win!

But, it’s pretty weird too. I’ll look at the monitor and see her sitting at the edge of her bed, staring at the door, waiting. I go in and rescue her at this point.

Also, in between 6:30 and 6:45, I have managed to slap a little make-up on.

7:15 a.m. Baggin’ It All Up

Little Bit either sits with me while I finish my hair and make-up or Mr. Mister is up and making us all breakfast. It varies from day-to-day, but I am pretty much ready to go by 7:15 a.m.

I spend these last fifteen minutes getting my various bags together and making a lunch for me and/or Little Bit if I was too lazy to do it the night before. I try to do it ahead of time otherwise Little Bit wants to “help” and I lose a good fifteen minutes on my commute time.

Also, I carry four bags, which I transport from my house, to my car, to my office, back to my car, and back into my house. This takes some time to get them all situated and ready to go.

FullSizeRender

                  -Purse, file bag, gym bag, lunch bag

I am quite a sight in the morning.

7:30 a.m. Fight the Traffic

Mr. Mister has a slightly more flexible morning schedule than I do in the so he takes Little Bit to her school. I like this because she gets her time in the morning to enjoy her breakfast and to get showered. I hated feeling that I would rush her on the morning when I would take her to school because my schedule dictated when and where I needed to be.

I take the same road every day to work, but you never know what’s going to happen. Sometimes the thirty-minute commute turns into an hour if traffic is at it’s worst. Sometimes, it a straight shot and I have time to stop for a third cup of coffee (because the one I drank at home and the one I drank while driving to work sometimes just aren’t enough).

8:00-8:30 a.m. Let the Games Begin

Depending on any hearings I have, I need to be in court by 8:15 a.m. When I have no hearings (which is rare), I can get in by 8:30 a.m. But, as a professional, I prefer to be in my office by 8:00 a.m. absent any craziness.

I feel that this sets an example of me as a professional and I just hate being late as it truly sets the tone for the rest of my day.

10:30 a.m. Makin’ Calls

I am normally back in my office for the rest of the day by 10:30 a.m. and can start returning phone calls, responding to emails that needed more than a quick response, and scheduling meeting, interviews, and depositions.

I am not a big fan of being in the courtroom, so the “behind the scenes,” office-type work that I get to do is my favorite!

11:45 a.m. Movin’ and Groovin’

In my last position, I was walking all over the place. My steps would total close to 20,000 each weekday. In my new position, I am sitting a majority of the day. Since my office provides a very accessible gym in our building, I take advantage of it during my lunch hour.

Not only I am trying to lose the last 13 pounds of baby weight, but also I need to break up my day by getting out of my office. Seriously, sometimes I get so caught up in what I am doing I forget to eat. AND I LOVE TO EAT!

So, I take about 45 minutes to get in a quick but good workout, shower, and head back to the office.

1:00 p.m. Lunch!

No explanation needed other than this is at my desk while I am working.

Side note: I can’t find the exact article, but I once read that you should take your lunch outside of your office. Even if you pack it. Something about getting fresh air, impacting your brain, and making you live longer. Although I appreciated it at the time, I would rather work out then head outside during my lunch break.

My options are to work out during lunch or after Little Bit goes to sleep. When I would exercise in the evenings, I would lose that time with my husband. So, I am literally sacrificing my life for him!

1:00 – 4:45 p.m. Doin’ Work

For the rest of the day I am just handling my caseload and doing what I love. It’s easy and I am enjoying my new position.

4:45 p.m. Fight the Traffic – Part 2

Little Bits school is about 45 minutes from my office. I need to be there by 5:30 p.m. because I don’t want her to be the last kid there. So, I leave about 4:45 p.m. and make it just in time. The traffic is always the same because I take the freeway there. I love it. There are never any surprises. Even an accident on the freeway doesn’t hold up traffic in a significant way.

P.S. Little Bit loves her school and so do we! We are so glad we found it despite all the “Are you on the waitlist? No? Sorry, we’re full” that we received when trying to get her into a school. Hmmm… there’s something no one tells you about having a kid. Pre-preschool waitlists!

5:30 p.m. Dinner

By the time we get home, Mr. Mister is already there tying up any lose ends from his day. The day of the week determines who cooks dinner. Thursdays are Mr. Mister since I have to take Little Bit to gymnastics right afterwards. Friday is normally take-out. So, all the other days it’s me! Sometimes Little Bit helps or Mr. Mister grills. But I want to make sure Little Bit experiences dinnertime as a family and we eat as many home-prepared meals as we can. At least, that is my goal.

6:30-7:30 p.m. Game Time

Little Bit and I normally play some type of game while Mr. Mister cleans up the kitchen. I know a lot of you have this same rule: I cook, you clean.

These days, Little Bit loves to practice her gymnastics, color, dance, play with her doctor “tools,” or bake me a pretend dessert in her play kitchen. Mr. Mister normally joins us for some additional silliness. The dogs too. They have a safe spot, curled up on her bed, out of the way of any flying objects.

Two years old is an amazing time for her little brain. She learns so much, so quickly and I am amazed everyday.

The nighttime routine is PJs, brushed teeth, two books, and three songs. SHE COUNTS THE SONGS! She use to pick the same two books every night: Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See and The Very Hungry Caterpillar (two good ones). But lately, she picks two different books every night so even I am staying interested in the material.

Our last song always has to be the ABC’s, in English and Spanish. It’s just now dawning on me that she is sneaking a fourth song out of me every night!

7:45 p.m. The End is Near

Not one time from when I leave work to when I put her to bed have I checked my work phone or thought about work. My time with Little Bit is so precious that I hate to waste any of it. My job affords me the luxury of not having any emergencies that can’t wait a few hours or until the following morning. I may not become a millionaire at this job, but having the flexibility and work-life balance has so much more worth to me.

At this point, I take a quick look at my work phone. Handle anything that can be done with a quick response, and start a load of laundry. I try to do one load a night otherwise my weekend is shot.

Then, it’s time for my PJs, face wash, and either a book or a show. I knocked out three books last month and I am currently looking for new recommendations.

My husband prefers TV shows, but our interests don’t exactly align. So our night normally progresses with him on the couch watching a show, and me on the couch, head on his lap, with a book. Sometimes desserts are had. Mostly ridiculous comments are made about the writing or acting in a particularly bad show. Either way, the time together is fun and necessary.

9:00 p.m. Bed!

Seriously. If it were socially accepted to go to sleep at 7:30 when Little Bit does, I totally would! 9 o’clock feels so late for me.

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Things I Think About at 3:38 a.m.

I’ll save the extended version for another post, but Little Bit has been sick. For a long time. Like, a really long time. Like, since December 12, 2015! I freaking calendared it! She’s had this persistent cough that turns out to be “nothing” every time we see our doctor. So now, when we hear the cough start acting up, we brace ourselves for a crazy, needy kid due to her lack of sleep and whatever is ailing her.

So, the cough started again last night and I heard Little Bit hacking in her room. I woke up. Checked the clock. 3:38 a.m.?! So, I trudged the usual pathway from my room to hers and was greeted by a “hi mamma!” This Chatty Cathy thinks it’s time to wake up! Oh no, kid! We need to sleep. So I snuggled my way in next to her and asked her if she was ok. She replied she was, started rambling on about some nonsense, so I asked her to try to sleep. She laid there pretty quietly for a bit and this is when my mind just started running. Here were my thoughts as more clearly transcribed from the Notes in my iPhone.

-Why would they name them “washable” markers when they clearly aren’t?

Crayons

-Why do my dogs chew just my shoes? And just the left ones?

-Why does pasta end up being the messiest food known to a 2 year old?

-Does anyone hate me for signing up to bring a “junk food” to the potluck and showing up with a fruit tray? (NOTE: it was a magnificent fruit tray)

-What’s the difference between 24 month old clothes and 2T?

-Why can’t my husband do the dishes when he says he will instead of rinsing them and “saving them for tomorrow?”

-Do those forehead thermometers really work for kids? Is it possible my kid is not actually running a temperature and can go to school in the morning?

Therm

-Why does potty training give me more reason to drink wine?

Wine

-Why does work give me more reason to drink wine?

-Why aren’t there more reasons to drink wine?

Wines

My daughter decided to roll over and punch me in the face at this point so I was immediately jolted out of my own thoughts. Sometimes you need that good punch to the face to drag you right out of La-La-Land.

She never went back to sleep. So, spoiler alert, neither did I. My husband tagged me out around 5:00 a.m. just in time for a 30 minute nap.

When I got to work I got a picture from Mr. Mister of Little Bit, fast asleep on the living room floor.

 

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